Great Personals Ads

Writing a Great Personals Ad: Find a Date Online

Putting Your Heart Online: Writing A Great Ad

Dating Sites

American Singles

Find Romance with Yahoo! Personals

Fall In Love For All The Right Reasons

Match.com 3 Day Free Trial

Marriage Minded Singles-29 item compatibility

Serious about dating? So are we.

Matchmaker

Join Date.com for free!

JDate

   Affiliated With:

Singlesonthego

Best Singles Links

Metro Dates

Speed Dating Sites

Dating Library

Young Single Professionals

Find a Date Now

Single Democrats

Single Republicans

Yahoo! Personals - Give Fate a Nudge

Creating an effective ad that gets results: Do's and Don'ts   by Lynne G

Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes. Think of this as creating your personal resume. Many of the online systems provide a multiple choice matching along with an essay.   After someone finds you with a "match", it is your essay portion that can make you shine. It is crucial to fill out the essay completely, with at least 2 or three sentences per question asked. You can come back to the essay later on many systems.   You will spend 45 minutes to an hour filling this out.   People who do not fill out the essay are not taking seriously and get passed on for other profiles that are more forthcoming.   Be honest in your ad. 

What to write about?  Describe yourself honestly and accurately. Include hard data such as your height, weight, body type, educational background and profession.  Show your personality.   Talk about your hobbies, interests, activities you enjoy, movies, books, or music you enjoy, where you like to travel,  and minimally about your work (do not give your place of employment....keep it general such as: I am a nurse at a local clinic, an accountant with a medium size company, etc).  Don't share too much information or write a book.....just write enough to get them interested. You have to leave something to talk about later. 

Share your feelings and experiences, not just facts about your life. You don't want your profile to be a touchy-feely pile of mush (can you hear your potential dates heading for the door?), but you do want to communicate things people can relate to: where you're from, where you are, where you're going in life, what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. DON'T fixate on only one aspect of your life:  You may love your dog, have a great career, live to ski, and those are great things to talk about in your profile. But if you talk about that and only that, you're going to come off as one-dimensional and obsessed. Show your fully rounded self.  Put your personality and humor into what you write.   Tell what you are like, and don't try to make false impressions. False impressions will back fire in the online dating arena as much as they will in the rest of your life. Relax, and let your true self show through. There are people who will like who you are. 
 

Don't dwell on your problems and limitations.   This is not the place to talk about why you got divorced, your last relationship didn't work out, or problems at work.   You can talk about this later after you get to know someone. If you have children, mention them BRIEFLY with their ages and sex.  Do not spend time talking about your children or reveal their names.   People are wanting to look at a profile that focuses on YOU, not your immediate family.  You can talk about your childcare arrangements and coaching little league soccer, etc later.   People looking at your profile want to know you have time for them.  Focusing on your children and their activities can give the impression that you will have limited time.

What you are looking for:    Think about who you are and what you are looking for. To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang out with? Do you want something short term or long term? Do you just want to chat with?  (Ex.  I am looking for a cultured man between 32-45 who is a Christian, attends church, college educated, and is into opera and gallery hopping).   (Ex. Looking for a down to earth gal between 22-30 that likes the country, camping, country music, country dancing and NASCAR).  Don't say that you are looking for the love of your life and want to get married....this will scare a lot of people away.  Its good idea to state the general type of person you are hoping to meet, but don't overdo it. If you set down too many requirements you will miss out on the opportunity to meet some great people, and quite possibly the one that is just right for you. 

Words to Use and Avoid:

Good Words:   Affectionate, Likes to cuddle, interested in a committed relationship, sensitive, great cook, romantic, caring, monogamous, down to earth, looking for best friend, educated, sophisticated, loving, generous, cute, reliable, my colleagues describe me as handsome, great legs, petite, curvaceous, hourglass figure, gentleman.

Words to Avoid:    Some of the bad stuff I have seen in ads. (On some systems, you will get terminated using some of this language whether in your profile or in an email).   These guys have read too many Penthouse magazines and need to look in the alternative personals.   Here is what NOT to put in a personal on a regular/metro site: Well hung, great in bed, I'd love to satisfy you, sexually insatiable, animal, great lover, oral, fuck, blow, make love, erotic, uninhibited and any other sexual words.    This stuff is SCARY to most women and runs them off.You can tweak and improve your profile as you go along.

Tweaking your profile: If you're getting the type of responses you're looking for, great. If you're getting responses from the wrong types of people or not getting as many responses as you'd like, then review your profile and think about how you can improve it and make yourself shine a little bit more. Most matchmaking systems have a place for you to edit your essay and parts of your ad.   Take a look at it at least every couple of weeks.

How to search for a new friend:  Each matchmaking system has different ways of searching for compatible profiles.   Some have several ways.  Typically these are MATCH, SEARCH, FIND, and some allow you to make a Search Profile that you can reuse.  You can search by location, ideal height and weight, ethnic background -- even by interest in having kids in the future. 

A high percentage on a multiple choice match is a good start but read the answers and look at the essay.   The percentages may be great but then the profile might be someone who sounds desperate and lonely, is someone just looking for sex or has totally different interests and values. 

If there is a photo, look at the photo and remember that the photo can be one taken yesterday or 5 years ago.   Unless the person is down right unappealing, remember that amateur/family photos don't always make a person look their best.  Look for profiles that match your ideal characteristics but also hit you the right way -- do the writers sound funny? Intellectual? Love animals as much as you do? Like to travel? 

Posting Photos    It is up to you to post a photo.   You will increase your response rate TEN TIMES by posting a photo.   People want to see who they are writing to, and many don't want to start a correspondence and waste time with someone that they don't know if there is even a initial attraction from a photo. If you want a lot of responses, you'd better have a picture.  From my experience, and from what I've heard from others, it seems that people who don't have pictures of themselves are usually hiding something. So, if you don't have a picture, people are going to assume you look like a dog. If you are a high profile person in the city you live, offer in your profile to exchange photos from your personal (yahoo or hotmail, not your real email address).  Make sure you put an accurate description of what you look like in your profile.  You may want to say what celebrity you closely resemble.  

People who say they don't have a photo or don't have a way to get one on line are either lazy or playing games.   If you don't have a scanner at home or work, take a photo to KINKO's (they are everywhere).   Have your photo or photos scanned in a .jpg format.   Most matchmaking systems do not allow you to send the zip files or unusable formats.   Typically .jpg, .gif, and .bmp is the limit and they must be sized down.  Photos should have a shirt on, clearly show your face (no sunglasses), well lit, no swimwear (except for secondary shots) and no family in your primary photo.   Make sure you are smiling in the photo.  (Who wants to meet someone who looks angry and glum). Many companies allow secondary shots that have your family and friends in the photos as long as you are in the photo.   Don't use a photo in which you're dressed too revealingly -- you want to look elegant and alluring, but a picture of you in a bikini is going to attract the wrong kind of responses.

What should you not send?  You car, house, boat, photos of your kids or friends by themselves, photos where your face is the size of a pencil head, photos with your ex, dark shots, anything revealing, etc.   Send your best photos.   Remember, FIRST IMPRESSIONS may be your only chance.   Your most recent photo of you camping (once in 5 years) with the ball cap on may leave a the impression that you don't want others to have.  Again, think in terms of a resume.  How would you want an employer to first see you? (Dressed nicely with your hair perfect).   Ex. A good mix would be primary photo in a business suit or polo shirt, secondary photo out rock climbing with friends, third photo with two nephews at XMAS.

Out of Town or Unable to Answer email?  Members of matchmaking systems expect responses to their emails quickly.  If you can't answer emails for a week or two, edit your profile and at the top of the essay say "I will be out of town for "x time frame" and will not have access to email.  Please ear mark my profile and write me back at "x time frame" and I will be happy to respond when I return."  This is especially important during the summer months when people are on vacation and during holidays.

Reality Check 101:  Dodging online liars, delusional people, weirdos, married people and incompatible people.

For the most part, 90% of the time you should be meeting some really nice people.  But be aware, there are smooth operators, charmers, and downright unsavory people everywhere.  It take time to get to know someone and if you listen carefully, you will know if someone is telling a story or telling the truth.    

Men in their 40's and 50's going after women 20 years younger:  If you search for people that are more than 10 years older or younger, you will have poor response..... and a tough start at anything more than a friendship.   Significant age difference can doom a relationship from the start. I am constantly amazed at the letters I get from women in their 20's and 30's who are appalled that they are getting emails from men that are 20 and 30 years older. I get appalled too....and then I have to think about it.  Let's face it, getting old is not fun. Especially if you are divorced and in your 40's and 50's, and starting over....why not get a younger person to hang out with.   Why is it that recently divorced men describe themselves as looking ten years younger and they have lots of stamina (what kind....can you keep up on a bike or skis?).  Actually, you have to feel compassion for a lot of these guys.   But it gets to be a bit much when a young woman is bombarded by emails from people that are totally incompatible.   

Married Men and Women: Why should single women be interested in married men?. With the hundreds of men who answer your ad, why should you settle for someone who will have no time for you, no energy for you, no money to spend, no intentions of a future with you, twice your age and is a LIAR and a CHEAT that will probably do it to you....Do these guys get it?   Please, don't waste our time!   And that goes for the married women looking for "action" with an unsuspecting young man just trying to find a decent date.  Now the good news for married people.  Work it out with your spouse and if you can't and you are really wanting this type of activity, there are better places for what you are looking for where people will be receptive.  Take a look at: Matchmaker Alternate Lifestyles

Separated, Recently Separated or Recently Divorced- Separated people are still "married people" that may end up working things out with their spouses.    The online personals is not a place to get back at your spouse for having an affair on you or rejecting you sexually.   Save yourself and everyone else the heartache and get some counseling.   If you are recently divorced, wait until you have had 6 months from the time of the divorce to heal before dating.  

Married People, Bi-Sexual, One Night Stands, and other interests in Alternative Lifestyles:   These are the people that tend to write all of the "words to avoid" printed above.   We get emails constantly by singles looking for other singles that are offended and ready to dump their already paid membership.   Let's face it, we live in a world today where there are all types and different moral codes.   If you would be offended by this, just ignore the email or  send an email back saying that you are not interested, and then if the service provides it, use the "block" function. If you are Married, Bi-Sexual, looking for a One Night Stand, Alternative Lifestyle, Swinging, etc, please help the rest of us who are managing systems where people are looking for dates with available people that will lead to relationships and click here to find what you are looking for: Matchmaker Alternate Lifestyles

You can never have to many friends. Make new ones at Match.com 3 Day Free Trial and meet that someone special!

Back to HOME

 The best places to meet people on the net today:  

American Singles Jump Start Your Love Life at American Singles with Free access to over 10 million profiles. Membership includes matching, instant messaging, tease, email and more. Singles can both post a personal profile and search other profiles without charge.

Match.com is the world's biggest online dating and personals site. View Photos of More than 15 million singles. FULL ACCESS to all the features of Match, including searching for singles, matching, and anonymous email.  More than twice as many marriages compared with any other site. More than 60,000 new people across six continents register on the Match every day. Exclusive Match Technology finds your most promising matches.  Save Time:   Venus delivers new Matches and Search profiles directly to your inbox. Check out the Match.com 3 Day Free Trial

Find Romance with Yahoo! Personals Yahoo Personals, is the second largest and one of the most popular personals services with over 10 million singles. Try Yahoo! Personals Premier's advanced searching and matching FREE. It's easy. All you need to do is complete a profile and to take the Yahoo! Personals Premier Relationship Test. Then you'll be able to Search and Match for a Relationship Fit rating with other Premier users

Fall In Love For All The Right Reasons Matching based on 35 years of research on successful relationships and marriages, and it is the only site that brings singles together using a scientifically-proven set of 29 compatibility principles.. Eharmony is an outgrowth of the general principles on marriage and relationships outlined by Dr. Neil Clark Warren in his books, seminars and clinical practice. Check out his books: Finding the Love of Your Life and How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less.

Great Expectationsmerges the online and offline dating for single professionals in search of meaningful relationships. Great Expectations members are pre-screened and vital information validated.  Members are met face to face and current photographs are maintained. 

Matchmaker has the world's largest database of singles and is one of the few services that offers a FREE TRIAL where you can use a majority of the features before you decide to join.  The FREE TRIAL lasts for a few weeks which gives you ample opportunity to see why they have the largest number of quality singles in your area.  This is the closest you will find to an dating service.  Old profiles are scrubbed from the system monthly.  (This is important.....why waste your time looking at old personals and people who come and go to never come back and check their mail?)  This is the most up to date system on the net.  If you live in a city with more than a million people, you will find the largest database of singles by city.  They have been successful at generating a large database because they have concentrated on "city sites".   This system has the most complete matching available with over 40 matching questions, an essay, anonymous email within the system and chat rooms.

Get a Date now at Date.com Place your ad for Free.. Private email and public/private chat rooms, pictures can be added to your profile. Very simple and easy to use.

Young Single Professionals   Meet other single professionals.  Programmers, Consultants, Project Manager, Doctors, Attorneys, Accountants, Architects, Engineers, Geologists, Business Owners, and hundreds of other professionals.  Free to browse.  Check it out!

Single Democrats Meet Up with single Democrats that have liberal, independent or moderate views of the world.

Single Republicans Personals and Dating for Conservative Singles.  Dating for GOP Conservative Republican Singles

Military Singles  Meet Navy, Army, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard Singles on US bases and stationed worldwide.

Metro Dates  Browse the personals by Metro area. Find a date in your city today! 

Find A Date Now  The solution to finding a great date!  Dinner and a movie? Dancing? Holding hands, and great conversation while you share a bottle of wine?  Find a date in your city now!

Speed Dating-Meet Singles at Local Events in Your City

25 Dates in one night at Hurry Date meet up to 25 singles in a string of three-minute dates in one night. Hurry Date Online subscribers get 25% off all Hurry Date parties automatically

8 Great Dates - 1 Fun Night at 8 Minute Dating 8 one-on-one dates that last 8 minutes each. If both parties are interested in meeting again, they provide contact information so they can set up another date. 8 Minute Dating guarantees you'll meet someone you want to see again or your next event is on them!

Looking for someone that shares your faith?  The following systems have the largest databases of quality singles in each religious category:    

Marriage Minded Christian Singles Find your mate with technology based on 35 years of research on successful relationships and marriages. Based on Christian principles and scientifically-proven set of 29 items of compatibility

JDate  Jewish Singles

Check out the following Ethnic Communities: 

AMature Singles

Silver Singles   Singles 50 and over

HomeSingles Groups Directory   Singles in Your City   Singles in Your State   Best Singles Sites | Best US and Canada Sites | International Dating Sites | Personals and Matchmaking |Religious Personals National Singles Groups | Specialty Sites | Relationship Advice | Dating Books | Russian, Latino and Asian Bride Agencies | Cool Links | Hot Jobs and Great LearningTools | New Link | Alternative Personals | Romantic Shopping | Related Services | Singles "FUN" Party Cruises and Travel | Travel Sites .

Check out: Singlesonthego Best Singles Links Metro Dates  Speed Dating Sites Dating Library Young Single Professionals Find a Date Now Single Democrats Single Republicans  Philadelphia Dating

Find Local Singles Groups and Singles Events

Top Singles Cities Atlanta  Boston Austin  Baltimore Chicago Cincinnati  Cleveland Dallas/Fort Worth Detroit Denver Houston  Indianapolis Kansas City  Las Vegas  Los Angeles Minneapolis/St. Paul New York City  Miami/South Florida Nashville  Newark  Orlando Philadelphia  Philadelphia  Phoenix  Pittsburgh  Portland Raleigh-Durham  Sacramento  San Francisco Tampa/St. Petersburg  Salt Lake City St. Louis  Seattle/Tacoma  Washington D.C.  Toronto Vancouver Calgary  Edmonton Montreal Winnipeg   London, England /South East/ UK    Sydney, Australia

US Singles Cities Albany  Allentown Anchorage  Appleton  Ashville  Augusta  Bakersfield Baton Rouge  Beaumont  Billings Biloxi Binghamton Birmingham  Boise Brownsville  Buffalo Burlington Canton Charleston Chattanooga  Cheyenne   Colorado Springs  Columbia Columbus  Corpus Christi  Davenport   Dover  El Paso  Erie  Eugene  Evansville  Fargo  Fayetteville  Fort Collins Fort Smith  Fort Wayne  Fresno  Gainesville  Gary Grand Rapids  Green Bay  Greenville  Harrisburg  Hartford  Hickory  Honolulu   Jackson  Jacksonville  Johnson City  Johnston  Kalamazoo   Kenosha  Killeen  Knoxville  Lafayette  Lakeland  Lancaster   Lincoln  Little Rock  Louisville  Lubbock  Macon  Madison  McAllen  Melbourne  Memphis  Midland  Milwaukee    Modesto  Myrtle Beach  Naples    New Orleans  Ocala  Oklahoma City  Omaha   Oshkosh  Pensacola  Peoria   Providence  Provo  Pueblo    Reading  Reno  Richmond  Roanoke  Rochester   Saginaw  Salinas  San Antonio  San Diego  Santa Barbara  Santa Rosa  Sarasota  Savannah  Scranton   Shreveport  Sioux Falls  South Bend  Spokane  Springfield   Stockton  Syracuse  Tallahassee    Toledo  Tucson  Tulsa  Utica  Virginia Beach  Visalia  Waco  Wichita  Wilmington  Yakima  Yonkers  York  Youngstown   

Singles By State  US States Singles  Alabama  Alaska  Arizona Arkansas California  Colorado  Connecticut  Delaware  District of Columbia  Florida Georgia  Hawaii  Idaho  Illinois  Indiana  Iowa  Kansas  Kentucky  Louisiana  Maine Maryland  Massachusetts  Michigan  Minnesota  Mississippi  Missouri  Montana  Nebraska  Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico  New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio   Oklahoma   Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota  Tennessee   Texas Utah  Vermont  Virginia   Washington West Virginia Wyoming Puerto Rico Virgin Islands 

Canadian Singles Alberta  Calgary  Edmonton  British Columbia  Vancouver Manitoba  Winnipeg  Ontario  Toronto   Ottawa  Quebec Montreal   Quebec City   Saskatchewan Saskatoon   Regina  Eastern Canada  Nova Scotia

International Singles  London, England /South East/ United Kingdom    Sydney, Australia

Singles Blog Dating Blog